|RIP Coralee Lane Davis
||[Sep. 7th, 2009|11:05 am]
During this summer, my grandmother's cancer was diagnosed as terminal. |
For the records, it was breast cancer that had been dormant for more than 10 years, but had managed to spread to the brain. This is the second cancer related death my two-degree family in 2009, both in Edmonton no less.
She was quite lucid until the last few days to a week, which makes me glad that they didn't bother trying chemo or radiation therapy on an 80-year old woman. I'm also glad that palliative care (final care) is pragmatic like it should be. I think pragmatic is the right word. She got anything she wanted in her last few weeks, without any regard as to whether or not it was bad for her. Chips? Burgers? Beer and morphine together? What's the worst that could happen?
I got to have a Last Phone Call with her.
It's one thing to know that you're talking to someone for the last time before you part ways and head off to worldly adventures. It's something entirely different to know for certain that the person on the other side of the conversation's adventures will be far from worldly after you stop talking.
What do you say to your grandmother on the phone if you know she's dying?
We talked about birds.
I stretched the truth temporally and told her that I was going to start a Master's Degree in September. I would have felt pretty bad if that had turned out to be false. It made her proud and happy and that's what matters. Still, it would have been a jerk move to lie to her.
Mostly we talked about birds though.
What else was there? We had no qualms with each other, no unfinished business. I had nothing useful to teach her and she had no mystical final words of wisdom for me. It wasn't that she wasn't wise, but there was nothing that would have been more meaningful or good for both of us than to talk about how much better robins are than crows.
I guess that's a good sign. I miss her dearly, but I don't regret anything except spending more time with her, but I could say that even if I had.
Rest In Peace Cora Lee, you've earned it.